Written by Bridget Haddican
The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning is a best-selling book by Margareta Magnusson. She describes herself as ‘somewhere between 80 and 100’ and over a period of months embarked on a purge of her home to spare her loved ones the burden of doing so. She relived memories, reflected on the difference between emotional and monetary value, and realized that changing tastes and styles might make once-treasured items less appealing to others.
She embraced the process, tackling a subject that some families are reluctant to face. We, as a society, have come a long away since the days when cancer was the unspoken ‘c’ word and ‘passing over’ was used as a euphemism for death. Now, we can openly discuss living wills, advanced health directives, and even the emotionally and legally charged subject of assisted dying.
One of the hardest aspects of losing a loved one is the guilt associated with dealing with their possessions. “I can’t possibly throw away their collection of enamel dogs; they loved those dogs.” Now your kids or best friend is stuck with the collection of enamel dogs, and donating them feels like a betrayal. Worse still are the photo albums; stacked high and each one containing a series of precious images. Recollections of times gone by when digital was not an option, and the faded Polaroid stuck on acid-free paper is the only evidence of that moment in time.
The kindest, most thoughtful way we can approach the end of our lives is to address our stuff. The things we surround ourselves with; clothes, photos, crafts, letters, collections, art, souvenirs. Things that may have been important to us but may not be important to our loved ones.
What can you do? Begin your Swedish Death Cleaning now. Each time you gather with your family or friends, like this December, take the time to talk with them about your possessions. Maybe there are items you can hand over now so someone else can benefit from them. Art they have always admired or vintage clothes your grandchildren can wear to impress their friends. It will be hard to hear that no one actually wants your father’s oil paintings or your uncle’s typewriter. But, they may happily listen to the story about how you came to own it or what it means to you. Then, say goodbye, relinquish this item, let it go out into the world to be enjoyed and appreciated by someone else. Consider our local online auction house, The Consignors, when embarking on this process. Our experts will review your items and determine their resale value to maximize their potential. Locally, we have so many resources that accept donations from church-based charities that rehouse the homeless to stores that pass all their profits to shelters or schools. Donating an item is giving it new life.
Do what you can when you can. Understand that this is a process that will be challenging and emotional. Your family and friends can help you. If you need a little extra support, The Downsizers are here for you too. Know also that this is a journey that can be filled with laughter and joy, maybe a few tears too. Memories can be relived and stories shared. When you have finished, you will have lightened the load for those that live after you and will want to honor you and your wishes.
We all want to live well; here is a chance to ensure that when you die, you will have eased a small portion of the burden for those you love. It’s never too soon to begin!
If you want help getting started, call The Downsizers for a complimentary consult. We’re here to guide you with thoughtful, practical estate liquidation services.